dear grace,
today was hard for mom. my body has changed a lot since having you and i'm having a really hard time with that. we went shopping today and i think you must know how i am feeling because you had a total meltdown and were inconsolable. i feel bad now just thinking that how i was feeling effected you so much. you are such a sensitive little girl and i'm sorry. i'm so glad i had my own mother to call on the trip home and just vent to and cry. i hope someday you can come to me and i can be helpful to you when you're feeling sad or lonely or broken. and let me tell you, going from a size 4 to a size 10 feels broken to me. at the same time i know i have a lot of growing up to do, and i wish it was a fast as you are growing. you are getting so big and beautiful, i can hardly stand it. it's hard for me to put you down because i dont wanna miss anything!that's it
for now-
i love you,
mom
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
Sunday, June 26, 2011
five
dear grace,
today you drive me crazy. but only because you wanted to eat for two hours straight! is there enough food down there? ill have to pump and find out. i wish you would go to sleep. you are still acting hungry... we went to church and you slept on me for all of sacrament- it was very cute. im nervous about keeping you there for all three hours, you are such a messy eater lately, throwing yourself wiggly all over and spraying milk everywhere! imagine that all over church clothes... maybe i can pack an extra set or something. i'll have to figure it out soon because i need some spirit around here! i wonder if you are eating because of your reflux.
we'll have to ask the doc.
i love you and you are back awake and crying.
i'm sorry, i hope i figure out what you need soon.
love,
mom
today you drive me crazy. but only because you wanted to eat for two hours straight! is there enough food down there? ill have to pump and find out. i wish you would go to sleep. you are still acting hungry... we went to church and you slept on me for all of sacrament- it was very cute. im nervous about keeping you there for all three hours, you are such a messy eater lately, throwing yourself wiggly all over and spraying milk everywhere! imagine that all over church clothes... maybe i can pack an extra set or something. i'll have to figure it out soon because i need some spirit around here! i wonder if you are eating because of your reflux.
we'll have to ask the doc.
i love you and you are back awake and crying.
i'm sorry, i hope i figure out what you need soon.
love,
mom
Saturday, June 25, 2011
four
dear grace,
you are fast asleep on my chest. you always find a way to wiggle off the burp cloth and down to sleep on my stomach. sometimes i wonder if you miss being there. you were so nice and patient today, chris and sarah came over and we all went on a walk- you have been eating a lot LOT lately and i think you're going through a growth spurt, but you let us walk you around and talk under the trees at scera park. you woke up right before we got in the car to head home and screamed all the way until we turned on country music! it's so funny but music really soothes you and the effect is almost always instant. even when you're realllllyyyy hungry. then later we went to kay and great grandpa francis' house for scrumptious dinner and cards. you didnt even wake up to eat until eight or so. you are so sweet.
i love you little girl,
mom
you are fast asleep on my chest. you always find a way to wiggle off the burp cloth and down to sleep on my stomach. sometimes i wonder if you miss being there. you were so nice and patient today, chris and sarah came over and we all went on a walk- you have been eating a lot LOT lately and i think you're going through a growth spurt, but you let us walk you around and talk under the trees at scera park. you woke up right before we got in the car to head home and screamed all the way until we turned on country music! it's so funny but music really soothes you and the effect is almost always instant. even when you're realllllyyyy hungry. then later we went to kay and great grandpa francis' house for scrumptious dinner and cards. you didnt even wake up to eat until eight or so. you are so sweet.
i love you little girl,
mom
three
dear grace,
i'm sorry i skipped a day, it's hard to find two hands and even harder to type with one! right now you are eating and wiggling all over the place, i dont blame you, for years i wouldnt sit down at the dinner table, i had to be standing and i was always on my toes. you kick and squirm and gulp and grunt like it's a little dance, flailing your arms around and then drawing them close an still in a pose near your face.
we took you on your first walk yesterday down by the orem cemetary. i cant wait for you to meet (one) of your namesakes though im certain you actually already know her. your personality so far reminds me of her, calm and sweet. never asking too much and always giving much more than what's expected. (i dunno yet what to expect from somoeone who's almost one month old...). it was boiling hot and dry, you slept in your little blue buggy the whole time while dad and i walked and talked.
then i woke you up for a quick feeding (you must be on a growth spurt because you want to eat all day every hour or so with one good long nap and tons of little naps and then you try to sleep most of the night), did you know it's against the law for anyone to tell a woman not to breastfeed in public? you're probably groaning right now but i did get like 20 breastfeeding covers for your baby shower (hot ticket item!) (were people trying to say somethin?) i just thought id include random facts and advice that i wish someone woulda told me in life here. i hope someday you can smile when you read this and that maybe you can get to know me as much as i'm getting the beautiful chance to know you now.
today you met chris and sarah.(chrisandsarahmas! like christmas but in june!) they were so excited to meet you they flew up just to see you.honestly. it was so cute to watch them with you. if they dont have kids still by the time you read this i'll be sad because they're going to be the best p units ever.(parents) they are coming back tomorrow as soon as they have a romantic six year anniversary b fast at sundance. if i was smart i'd get sarah or chris to write this entry as they both did nothing but hold you and stare at you and comment on your general incredibleness and cuteness for about 8 hours straight.
i feel the same way of course but each day you pull new tricks out of that head of yours and blow me away so sometimes i forget the little things like, your tummy is the size of your dad's bicep (15 in), your feet are the size of his thumb (you havent discovered that you HAVE feet yet, but i cant wait until you do) you like to use mom's belly button as a stair, grab hair, and you are starting to coo and make noises. you snort when you cry hard.
i love you very much my sweet little girl, you've made me exactly who i've always wanted to be,
mom
i'm sorry i skipped a day, it's hard to find two hands and even harder to type with one! right now you are eating and wiggling all over the place, i dont blame you, for years i wouldnt sit down at the dinner table, i had to be standing and i was always on my toes. you kick and squirm and gulp and grunt like it's a little dance, flailing your arms around and then drawing them close an still in a pose near your face.
we took you on your first walk yesterday down by the orem cemetary. i cant wait for you to meet (one) of your namesakes though im certain you actually already know her. your personality so far reminds me of her, calm and sweet. never asking too much and always giving much more than what's expected. (i dunno yet what to expect from somoeone who's almost one month old...). it was boiling hot and dry, you slept in your little blue buggy the whole time while dad and i walked and talked.
then i woke you up for a quick feeding (you must be on a growth spurt because you want to eat all day every hour or so with one good long nap and tons of little naps and then you try to sleep most of the night), did you know it's against the law for anyone to tell a woman not to breastfeed in public? you're probably groaning right now but i did get like 20 breastfeeding covers for your baby shower (hot ticket item!) (were people trying to say somethin?) i just thought id include random facts and advice that i wish someone woulda told me in life here. i hope someday you can smile when you read this and that maybe you can get to know me as much as i'm getting the beautiful chance to know you now.
today you met chris and sarah.(chrisandsarahmas! like christmas but in june!) they were so excited to meet you they flew up just to see you.honestly. it was so cute to watch them with you. if they dont have kids still by the time you read this i'll be sad because they're going to be the best p units ever.(parents) they are coming back tomorrow as soon as they have a romantic six year anniversary b fast at sundance. if i was smart i'd get sarah or chris to write this entry as they both did nothing but hold you and stare at you and comment on your general incredibleness and cuteness for about 8 hours straight.
i feel the same way of course but each day you pull new tricks out of that head of yours and blow me away so sometimes i forget the little things like, your tummy is the size of your dad's bicep (15 in), your feet are the size of his thumb (you havent discovered that you HAVE feet yet, but i cant wait until you do) you like to use mom's belly button as a stair, grab hair, and you are starting to coo and make noises. you snort when you cry hard.
i love you very much my sweet little girl, you've made me exactly who i've always wanted to be,
mom
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
one
dear grace,
your father actually came up with this idea, but i thought i would take it but dont tell him because i'd like to actually keep one secret from him in my life. i cant believe how fast you are growing. your head is still pretty small (23 percentile) but i know there's a big brain in there just waiting to be filled with the world. it was so hot today. i keep getting glimpses of your laugh, i'll catch you chuckling in your sleep or smiling at some joke in your dreams. i love you so, already- i feel my heart could burst. i'm becomming quite the slob actually. i haven't showered in... three days. but i can't help it! i don't want to miss anything! i need to clip your fingernails. you keep scratching my neck and chest as i feed you and hold you. maybe you are trying to get to my heart or something to hold it together (to keep it from bursting of course)- but now you are out here in the real world and not in my belly. i can't believe i'm going to say this (well,write it) but i do miss being pregnant, every need you possibly had my body filled for you naturally. you were safe, and never hungry, and warm. i could carry you everywhere and still have two hands to feed myself, and do other stuff like shower. right now you are propped up on a blanket in a newborn onesie that is too big for you. you look like i tried to dress you in a potatoe sack or something. you are 8 pounds three ounces, and 20.5 inches. when you were born you were 7 pounds 8 oz and 19.5 inches. i call you starfish. well, today i call you starfish- it's one of like eight nicknames i've already tried to name you. but this one is going to stick i promise! everytime i wake you up for a feeding or unswaddle you your arms and legs pop out and you stretch wayyyy out and look like a starfish. when you were in my tummy i called you peanut but after you were born you became this living breathing thing and i couldn't keep you a nut. i tried "little tiny" and "french fry" (that was my nickname as a baby) (that, and stone face) i tried peanut for a while but it didnt seem right! i've thought of calling you cricket... but i'm not sure that's for a girl. you dont like tummy time much, and already you can roll over back onto your back, you are a strong willed girl, and you'll fight for your way. you are such a sweet baby, you are already trying to sleep through the night! but then you want to eat all day to make up for it. today i put you in a dress and you hated it. i felt bad but i laughed because i don't dress up much lately either. 1. because nothing fits, and 2. because it's hard to breastfeed when you are constantly taking your clothes on and off. and 3. you dont have much patience once you are really hungry... you are such a joy to me though. i love watching you and i never want to put you down. and lately you dont want to be put down any more than i want to put you down anyhow so it works out for both of us! dad's gone on some workout binge lately and i've been rather sore with him for it. i feel like if he invested as much time in us as he does in working out that we would all be happier for it. but he disagrees. being physically fit is very important to him and he is always trying to be better and bigger. you keep falling asleep as i write this, even though you're supposed to be eating! you stinker! i'm afraid i've given you terrible acid reflux. you spit up often, and i think it's because ive been eating a bunch of chocolate... sorry. ill try to be better but you must know it's hard to stay away from the stuff hwen i haven't been able to eat it myself without getting the worst heartburn of my life ever for about oh 7 months. you made me very sick little girl. but i've almost forgotten about it in my complete fascination with you already.
oops dad is coming upstairs
loveyou
j
your father actually came up with this idea, but i thought i would take it but dont tell him because i'd like to actually keep one secret from him in my life. i cant believe how fast you are growing. your head is still pretty small (23 percentile) but i know there's a big brain in there just waiting to be filled with the world. it was so hot today. i keep getting glimpses of your laugh, i'll catch you chuckling in your sleep or smiling at some joke in your dreams. i love you so, already- i feel my heart could burst. i'm becomming quite the slob actually. i haven't showered in... three days. but i can't help it! i don't want to miss anything! i need to clip your fingernails. you keep scratching my neck and chest as i feed you and hold you. maybe you are trying to get to my heart or something to hold it together (to keep it from bursting of course)- but now you are out here in the real world and not in my belly. i can't believe i'm going to say this (well,write it) but i do miss being pregnant, every need you possibly had my body filled for you naturally. you were safe, and never hungry, and warm. i could carry you everywhere and still have two hands to feed myself, and do other stuff like shower. right now you are propped up on a blanket in a newborn onesie that is too big for you. you look like i tried to dress you in a potatoe sack or something. you are 8 pounds three ounces, and 20.5 inches. when you were born you were 7 pounds 8 oz and 19.5 inches. i call you starfish. well, today i call you starfish- it's one of like eight nicknames i've already tried to name you. but this one is going to stick i promise! everytime i wake you up for a feeding or unswaddle you your arms and legs pop out and you stretch wayyyy out and look like a starfish. when you were in my tummy i called you peanut but after you were born you became this living breathing thing and i couldn't keep you a nut. i tried "little tiny" and "french fry" (that was my nickname as a baby) (that, and stone face) i tried peanut for a while but it didnt seem right! i've thought of calling you cricket... but i'm not sure that's for a girl. you dont like tummy time much, and already you can roll over back onto your back, you are a strong willed girl, and you'll fight for your way. you are such a sweet baby, you are already trying to sleep through the night! but then you want to eat all day to make up for it. today i put you in a dress and you hated it. i felt bad but i laughed because i don't dress up much lately either. 1. because nothing fits, and 2. because it's hard to breastfeed when you are constantly taking your clothes on and off. and 3. you dont have much patience once you are really hungry... you are such a joy to me though. i love watching you and i never want to put you down. and lately you dont want to be put down any more than i want to put you down anyhow so it works out for both of us! dad's gone on some workout binge lately and i've been rather sore with him for it. i feel like if he invested as much time in us as he does in working out that we would all be happier for it. but he disagrees. being physically fit is very important to him and he is always trying to be better and bigger. you keep falling asleep as i write this, even though you're supposed to be eating! you stinker! i'm afraid i've given you terrible acid reflux. you spit up often, and i think it's because ive been eating a bunch of chocolate... sorry. ill try to be better but you must know it's hard to stay away from the stuff hwen i haven't been able to eat it myself without getting the worst heartburn of my life ever for about oh 7 months. you made me very sick little girl. but i've almost forgotten about it in my complete fascination with you already.
oops dad is coming upstairs
loveyou
j
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