Thursday, July 7, 2011
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
nine
dear grace,
today you are ten pounds! holy moley, i can't believe you went from a little seven pounds to ten in about a month. you've been pretty sad today again, only because it's so hard for me to feed you constantly. it's not that i dont want to, it's just driving me crazy because i get so bored and it's hard to sit still. but finally dad changed you and swung you around for a while and put on taylor swift and you seem to be happy in your rock and play, chewing on your fist like you haven't eaten in days. girl you're gonna be our little chunk in no time if you keep eating this way! today dad said how hard it's going to be to leave you and me for one last deployment. we aren't sure when he will have to go, but i've already accepted that he most likely will have to. you weren't here for the last deployment, but it's hard stuff! i hope you are tougher than i am, and distract me from missing dad so much this time. i'm sure in many ways it will be even more difficult because you'll know him and ask me where he is. last deployment i asked myself why he needed to be gone and when he got back i asked myself even more, when the man i married would really come home from the war and in many ways he hasn't. i'm afraid for our lives and for his. your dad isn't scared of very many things, he's the first to go out of the vehicle. in many ways i feel very sure that one of the reasons he was protected last deployment was so that you could come here to earth. i am so glad he was.
love,
mom
ps this song makes me think of you and i love it: taylor swift never grow up
Your little hands wrapped around my finger
And it's so quiet in the world tonight
Your little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming
So I tuck you in and turn on your favorite nightlight
To you, everything's funny
You got nothing to regret
I'd give all I have honey
If you could stay like that
Oh darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
Just stay this little
Oh darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
It could stay this simple
I won't let nobody hurt you
Wont let no one break your heart
No one will desert you
Just try to never grow up
Never grow up
You're in the car on the way to the movies
And you're mortified your mama's dropping you off
At 14, there's just so much you can't do
And you can't wait to move out
Someday and call your own shots
But don't make her drop you off around the block
Remember that she's getting older too
And don't lose the way that you dance around in your PJs getting ready for school
Oh darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
Just stay this little
Oh darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
It could stay this simple
No one's ever burned
Nothing's ever left you scarred
Even though you want to, just try to never grow up
Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room
Memorize what is sounded like when your dad gets home
Remember the footsteps, remember the words said
And all your little brother's favorite songs
I just realized everything I had is someday gonna be gone
So here I am in my new apartment
In a big city, they just dropped me off
It's so much colder than I thought it would be
So I tuck myself in and turn my nightlight on
today you are ten pounds! holy moley, i can't believe you went from a little seven pounds to ten in about a month. you've been pretty sad today again, only because it's so hard for me to feed you constantly. it's not that i dont want to, it's just driving me crazy because i get so bored and it's hard to sit still. but finally dad changed you and swung you around for a while and put on taylor swift and you seem to be happy in your rock and play, chewing on your fist like you haven't eaten in days. girl you're gonna be our little chunk in no time if you keep eating this way! today dad said how hard it's going to be to leave you and me for one last deployment. we aren't sure when he will have to go, but i've already accepted that he most likely will have to. you weren't here for the last deployment, but it's hard stuff! i hope you are tougher than i am, and distract me from missing dad so much this time. i'm sure in many ways it will be even more difficult because you'll know him and ask me where he is. last deployment i asked myself why he needed to be gone and when he got back i asked myself even more, when the man i married would really come home from the war and in many ways he hasn't. i'm afraid for our lives and for his. your dad isn't scared of very many things, he's the first to go out of the vehicle. in many ways i feel very sure that one of the reasons he was protected last deployment was so that you could come here to earth. i am so glad he was.
love,
mom
ps this song makes me think of you and i love it: taylor swift never grow up
Your little hands wrapped around my finger
And it's so quiet in the world tonight
Your little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming
So I tuck you in and turn on your favorite nightlight
To you, everything's funny
You got nothing to regret
I'd give all I have honey
If you could stay like that
Oh darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
Just stay this little
Oh darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
It could stay this simple
I won't let nobody hurt you
Wont let no one break your heart
No one will desert you
Just try to never grow up
Never grow up
You're in the car on the way to the movies
And you're mortified your mama's dropping you off
At 14, there's just so much you can't do
And you can't wait to move out
Someday and call your own shots
But don't make her drop you off around the block
Remember that she's getting older too
And don't lose the way that you dance around in your PJs getting ready for school
Oh darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
Just stay this little
Oh darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
It could stay this simple
No one's ever burned
Nothing's ever left you scarred
Even though you want to, just try to never grow up
Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room
Memorize what is sounded like when your dad gets home
Remember the footsteps, remember the words said
And all your little brother's favorite songs
I just realized everything I had is someday gonna be gone
So here I am in my new apartment
In a big city, they just dropped me off
It's so much colder than I thought it would be
So I tuck myself in and turn my nightlight on
eight
dear grace,
hello my little girl. today you cried for four hours straight. you must have been as excited as i was to see fireworks, because you were inconsolable until nine pm when the cul de sac of fire started here at cherapple. then you went right to sleep and slept through the entire event! i'm so sorry for your little tummy and whatever else is bothering you! if i had a magic wand and could wave it all away i wouldn't hesitate to do it. also, you ARE growing! you are fitting snuggly into your newborn clothes which used to be baggy, and eating almost every hour for fourty five minutes each feeding. whoah. today we went outside on the swings to try to calm you down and it worked for a while, you were so stiff with gas or bubbles or whatever you were workin out of your system and as we swang (swung?) you curled your toes. i looked over at grandma elaine and she was sitting in the swing next to us with her toes curled the exact same way. she loves you so much, she tries every day to come over and do yardwork and help out around the house and hold you and talk to you. i'm certain your crying spell today was as difficult on her as it was for me to hear you. sort of heartbreaking. not even country music helped! gram francis loves you very much too- all weekend we've been sort of mia from the computer (we traveled with you up to afton wy for mudvolleyball which your father played with the scherbals and almost won the entire tournement) so we havent been able to ichat (video chat) and gram is goin crazy missing you! everytime we get on the ichat she just says how much she wishes she could hold you and just wants me to stick the whole computer in your crib so she can talk to you while you kick and move around. we are all in such wonder of you. and no matter what anybody says just know i love you the most! so today was a little )okay REALLY) hard for me to see you so sad and upset. please bring the happy content girl back, but if you cant i understand and instead help me to figure out how to make you a happy content little girl once more. happy fourth of july my sweet sweet girl, it's a tender day for me and someday i hope you know why.
i love you dearlydearly,
mom
ps you just tooted HUGE so i bet you are feeling 10092395809468 times better.
hello my little girl. today you cried for four hours straight. you must have been as excited as i was to see fireworks, because you were inconsolable until nine pm when the cul de sac of fire started here at cherapple. then you went right to sleep and slept through the entire event! i'm so sorry for your little tummy and whatever else is bothering you! if i had a magic wand and could wave it all away i wouldn't hesitate to do it. also, you ARE growing! you are fitting snuggly into your newborn clothes which used to be baggy, and eating almost every hour for fourty five minutes each feeding. whoah. today we went outside on the swings to try to calm you down and it worked for a while, you were so stiff with gas or bubbles or whatever you were workin out of your system and as we swang (swung?) you curled your toes. i looked over at grandma elaine and she was sitting in the swing next to us with her toes curled the exact same way. she loves you so much, she tries every day to come over and do yardwork and help out around the house and hold you and talk to you. i'm certain your crying spell today was as difficult on her as it was for me to hear you. sort of heartbreaking. not even country music helped! gram francis loves you very much too- all weekend we've been sort of mia from the computer (we traveled with you up to afton wy for mudvolleyball which your father played with the scherbals and almost won the entire tournement) so we havent been able to ichat (video chat) and gram is goin crazy missing you! everytime we get on the ichat she just says how much she wishes she could hold you and just wants me to stick the whole computer in your crib so she can talk to you while you kick and move around. we are all in such wonder of you. and no matter what anybody says just know i love you the most! so today was a little )okay REALLY) hard for me to see you so sad and upset. please bring the happy content girl back, but if you cant i understand and instead help me to figure out how to make you a happy content little girl once more. happy fourth of july my sweet sweet girl, it's a tender day for me and someday i hope you know why.
i love you dearlydearly,
mom
ps you just tooted HUGE so i bet you are feeling 10092395809468 times better.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)