twenty three

dear grace,
today you sat up all by yourself for the longest time ever! it was such a miracle to watch you learn to do that. you are trying to grab everything and trying to talk to everyone. my favorite is when you coo really quietly and in a high voice. you slip and slide all around different octaves, changing the way your mouth moves and making all sorts of sounds. i like to copy you and watch you smile, like we are sharing some sort of secret with each other. you are becomming very very tickleish, your feet and your hands and under your chin. today you lay on the bed and i just poked you all over and you laughed and laughed. then i tried to eat your foot and you thought that was hysterical. it's great being the funniest person! my ego is feeling pretty good! in the meantime, the child upstairs throws between 7-20 fits of screaming a day. i'm not sure what his problem is... if he is tired or both parents aren't around enough... but he stomps around and SCREEEAAMS and i'm telling you, if you act like that i will smack the crap out of you. that sounds really intense- but behavior like that is simply unacceptable to get what you want. my parents never beat me, but they made sure that i knew that screaming and crying was not a way to get what i wanted. in fact- that was the best way to get sent to my room or have everything i liked taken away. so i learned really really fast not to throw huge fits. sure i whined, and i complained, and i cried- every kid does. but i dont think i ever screamed and screamed and screamed. and if i did- my parents should have beat the crap out of me. and i was a pretty awful child. i bit people and i bit a hole in my mom's first brand new car... i pinched and poked and taunted. i gave things away that weren't mine to give, and i took things that weren't mine. but i turned out alright. and i really really hope that you do too. i think that's an important part of parenting- is taking the best parts of both sides of the family and putting them together, and then taking the parts that you wish you could forget and omitting those the best you can. growing up is a magical thing, it shouldn't be tainted with tears and angry yelling. no child should have to act like a tyrant to communicate how they feel. it makes me sort of sad. anyways, it's easy for me to talk about other kid's problems since i have the perfect child. now. but, no matter what happens, no matter if you get in trouble and disagree with us, we love you very much. and we will always always always do our best to be fair and kind to you. you may not understand this until you are much older, but we want to be your dear friends. we want you to come to us when you are sad or lonely, and especially when you are happy. you are the greatest joy in our lives. i am grateful every single day that you came here. sometimes you are the only thing we agree on. i think we are all coming down with a cold. so i've put dad to bed with a humidifier, a box of tissues and a huge bottle of water. and you, i filled your nose with saline solution (which you haaate but we do it every night because it keeps you healthy) and bundled you up. it's really hard to keep you warm all night, you've become such a wiggler!!! you just started bouncing your bum up and down in the air, arching your back and trying to flip everywhere like a fish. and something funny today you started opening and closing your mouth really big (like a fish!) whenever you wanted to eat or chew on something and it was really really really hilarious. you are growing up so quickly. and becoming very cuddly. that's my favorite part. you lay your head on my shoulder and wrap your little chubby legs around my waist and tuck your arms into my chest. and just smile. you are the most beautiful thing on earth.
i love you,
mom