twenty one

dear grace,
you are getting so big so quickly. last night i held you in my arms and thought as you slept sweetly, how i wish i could keep you this way forever. your little hands gripping my sweatshirt and your soft warm breath on my neck, your legs curled up under you like a frog and your sweet wavy hair on my cheek. of course, it is a beautiful thing to watch you grow, but when you are fourteen i doubt you'll let me hold you like that. (which i understand) but it is so wholly and completely wonderful to be loved by you and needed so dearly. you probably wont really understand that until you have a little one of your own someday. i know i didn't. you are becomming a daddy's girl quite quickly, when you hear his voice you look all around "where is he where is he" and then you smile really really really big when he talks to you. i'm sort of jealous but i made you giggle first! so i'll always have that. in all fairness i have you most of the day so, i guess he'll have his chance. you have this ringing peal of giggles when you laugh and it is so adorable. i wish i could hold a camera and tickle you but i'm not that talented yet. you kick your legs like a mad woman, you are anxious to start moving around and i am anxious for you not to. your dad and i are pretty messy (woops, never supposed to tell your child that one) and i'm worried about all the little things on the floor, and all the child proofing this house needs before you are mobile. you are still so nice, even though you are teething and your gums bother you horribly. fall is coming and i've gone a little crazy decorating for halloween. we have a giant spider web on the front porch and a huuuuge pumpkin and then a mommy pumpkin and then a baby pumpkin (actually a little green squash pumpkin for you). we have spiders and graves that i made, we're gonna have a strobe light and enough candy to feed the entire military probably. dad is training for ocs and he runs 6 miles each day. he is losing weight quickly and... i am not. since i'm not breastfeeding i'm still packing the pounds from pregnancy. so we went to the track last night at orem high for an hour and while dad ran i walked about the track with you in your stroller. it was very cold and you were done after about 20 minutes. it was the first time you'd been freezing and you did not like it one bit! i felt your pain so we cuddled in the car for the last ten minutes and you fell asleep. which brings me to the beginning again. there is so much i want to write about all the things i experience with you each day, so that i wont forget- but they all happen so quickly and pass so sweetly and quietly. you are only talkative when you are excited or tired. or both. i love you very much with my whole heartsicles.
love,
mom.