eleven

dear grace,
what a joy you are! you smile at me all the time now and it makes me melt. i love your cute little hands and toes, you grip everything with both of them. when you eat you pat your stomach with both hands and wiggle constantly. sometimes you chuckle but its always very small, i can't wait to hear you laugh out loud. i wasn't making enough breast milk so now we are on formula supplementing. your farts are terrible, and i miss your breath smelling like peaches and cream. you wont keep a binky in your mouth, you'd rather play with it instead and you love to grab my hair and rip it out. dad still thinks pink is not your color but it's hard to find non pink girl baby stuff! just you wait until you have to do it. you love your crib and your swaddle sacks still. i dont put you on your tummy nearly enough because you hate it and flip over- so you have a big beautiful bald spot on the back of your head :] sawwy. but you make up for it by having a huge tuff of hair on top which is spiraling into a mowhalk. you have big deep blue eyes and a huge grin. i sing to you and tickle you constantly and you cry when im away and you are awake. unless you are pooping. you are so happy when you poop. which is often. tmi? i dont care, we should celebrate because now is the only time in your life when people will applaud your bodily functions. so enjoy it. you looove bath time still, and have begun kicking and squirming which makes tub time kinda dangerous but still very fun. you love your starfish sponge and you stare at it the whole time kicking and splashing. we have black and white flashcards with animals on them, and i make the sounds of them and show them to you, you love the cat "meow" and the ladybug (which as of yet has no sound...) and grandpa francis says the monkey looks like a scorpion. you had your baby blessing last weekend and it was beautiful. we recorded it and i need to type it up for you. you even snorted a few times into the microphone and i couldnt help laughing. you are curious and make sounds all the time, you coo almost all the time and try so hard to talk to me. you move your tongue all around in your mouth and you love when i whistle or sing to you. its the most incredible feeling to be loved by someone so entirely. you light up like a christmas tree when you hear my voice, or see my hands coming down toward you in your crib. everybody says you are a mamma's girl, and dad doesnt really know what to do with you yet but i know you're going to just follow him everywhere. it's been really tough with school for him to spend a lot of time with you, i hope you get to know and love him as you know me soon. i know i should only write happy things in this journal, but i want you to know that i lived, and that life isn't perfect and always lovely. i want you to understand that disappointment is real, but that you can always choose how you react to all of it. that is part of the reason you carry the name that you do. there are many other things i want to write about but i am very tired and you are so happy that i hate to leave you staring at the ceiling fan cooing and talking by yourself for very long. i love you with all my heart sweet girl.
love,
mom